Welcome to the E-Life

I arrived at the Oakland Airport Saturday morning at 6:40 am. The East Bay team was split up to two flights to San Diego: One flight leaving Oakland at 8:10 am and the other flight leaving SFO at 8:40 am. My flight arrived in San Diego around 9:40 am and we proceeded to the shuttle to take us to the team hotel. The first thing I noticed was that our team hotel was no where close to anything in San Diego. Unlike Arizona, where everything was in walking distance, we needed a shuttle to get to the convention center. The convention center was where the expo, pasta, and victory parties were held. So as you can probably figure out, that’s a lot of bus rides.

After unpacking, I headed to the expo with Richard and a few other mentees. Since the marathon was thrown by Elite Racing, the expo was exactly the same as Arizona. We got in and out of there and headed back on the shuttle to the team hotel. It became clear to that TNT participants were spread out at different hotels all around San Diego. We figured that out because there were various hotel stops we had to make. At times we weren’t even available to get on the first available buses because they were so packed from previous hotel pick-ups. As soon as we dropped off the stuff at the hotel and laid out our running gear for the next morning, it was time to head back out to the convention center again to attend the pasta party.

We attended the pasta party and even unexpectedly had “red carpet” duty. It puzzled Monica that we somehow got in early, but we decided to par-take on the festivities and cheered everyone in. The pasta party was very inspiring and pumped us for the event the next day. The party ended around 8 pm and we headed back on the shuttle to the hotel and I slept at around 9 pm.

Race Morning

Morning call woke us up at 2:35 am, even though we specifically asked them to wake us up at 2:45 am. Yeah it was a 10 minute difference, but I was sleeping like a baby and didn’t want to wake up. As anticipated it took about 1 hour to get ready and we were ready to meet the team at the hotel lobby at 4:00 a.m. We gathered and Coach provided an inspirational speech and we did our moment of silence and chants. It was probably about 60 degrees at 4 in the morning, because I was not even cold in my singlet. Coach warned us that it was going to be a hot day. Even the President of Elite Racing warned us at the Pasta Party because of the heat, it will not be a PR day for a lot of people.

We hopped on the shuttle to the start line. I met my mentee, Patti in the morning because we had planned on doing the race together. After running at Arizona by myself, I knew how helpful running with a partner would be. We got to the starting line at 4:45 am and basically hung out for a hour and a half. I went to the potty about 3 times and we just sat around and waited. During that time the sun came out and it was slightly warmer. About 30 minutes before the start time of 6:30 am, we stretched with Mama Lisa. 10 minutes before start time, we headed for our corral.

Mile 1 through Mile 5

After waiting 12 minutes after the official start, we finally crossed the start line and because we were in corral 21, we had to weave through a lot of walkers. It probably didn’t thin out until mile 4. The first 2 miles went great until, my mentee Patti told me she had to find a port-a-potty (POP). I told her if she could hold it, that we be best because the longest lines at the POPs are always within the first 4 miles. At mile 4, we saw Mentor Michelle and her mentee Franny. We lost them at by 5 mile, because Patti had to visit the POP and we were fortunate that the line was not as long. The total time delay was 6 minutes. I was actually thankful we stopped because I wanted to conserve some energy. Our first two mile pace times was 12 minutes. I felt that was great because we were told time and time again to go out slow. As soon as the POP was over, we looked up only to see the incline from hell. I had seen the elevation chart and knew that there was a gradual incline from mile 5 to mile 10. We took it really easy and focused it from mile to mile. We stopped at every single water stop and took in the very nasty fire hydrant water. Ah yes….the same nasty fire hydrant water they were serving in Arizona. I already knew to avoid the yucky powerade they were serving there, but it appeared anything I was going to intake was gonna hurt my stomach during race day.

Mile 6 – Mile 13

The best way to tackle the marathon was to treat as if it was a normal training run. Since we always stopped at the water stops during training runs, I thought it would be smart to walk through the water stops rather than run through them. If we didn’t conserve our energy then, we would certainly run out of it at the end. Temperatures quickly rose and I could feel the heat as we got to mile 6. It was overcast, but it was hot. If I had to guess, it may have been in the 70’s because my body temperature felt like it was in the high 80s. By mile 6, the course flattened, but we were headed towards the freeway. Yup, more inclines. This was to be the freeway from hell. Yup, the same hell. I had heard about this freeway from Ken, who ran the course, last year. It told me it stays crooked for a good 4 miles. He was right. The choice was to run either at the top or the bottom to find a level running ground. At the same time, it was another gradual incline. Meanwhile Patti needed another POP break at mile 6 and we were delayed for 8 minutes. Again I wasn’t complaining because I got to rest. By mile 9, we finally reached the highest point of the freeway incline and were on our way down. Patti had another POP stop at mile 10. We bumped into Monique and Nova in line. I chatted with them until Patti got out and we were on our way continuing the downhill. By mile 11, the quads were slightly sore and I knew the inclines had done a number on my legs. I haven’t felt my quads sore like that since Arizona. Not only did the inclines contributed to my sudden tiredness, but I knew that the road pavement caused me to tire. I bitched about this in Arizona, but to reiterate, road running is something we never trained for. Unlike the soft trails we are use to, the road is surface is so much harder. Freeway road and street roads are tough because they are compacted to support semi-trucks and heavy vehicles and if you ask me, it’s too strong for the human body.

Patti also looked like she was tiring and appeared frustrated because she could not comprehend why she was performing so poorly, considering she had an excellent training season. We had ran together in Mill Valley and had satisfying 20 miler times. By mile 11, we caught up to Michelle and Franny. They were walking. Michelle had a nasty blister and it appeared everyone needed a break. We began walking too, but it my mind; I knew that this was going to be a tough race. My quads were already hurting and my quads were tightening. My goal of running the marathon at 5:30 was wiped out. I actually knew it earlier, because I had waited for Patti at the POP stops. That was my choice. I could have abandoned her, but then I would have been left at running the race alone and so would she. I was committed on running with my mentee and support her all the way through. It was no longer a race for me. By mile 12, we saw Coach Gary and he was telling us that it had cooled down. He was right, it was still overcast, but there was a breeze. My mind still wanted to run this thing, but my body was trying to tell me opposite. My foot also began to feel as if it was on fire. It felt as if someone had lit a match and was placing it under my feet. Apparently the sun had heated the ground intensely that it was burning my feet. What made it worse was that the spilled water on the ground was heating up like a damn sauna, which made the ground even hotter.

Regardless of my pain, I was still upbeat and tried to cheer Michelle, Franny and Patti up. We passed by Mile 13.1 and saw the celebration of the half marathoners. The promoters at Elite Racing provided an exclusive half marathon for TNT only. Unfortunately for us full marathoners, we shared the same course and we could see the big TNT tent. I told Michelle, Franny and Patti to not look right, but I think they knew what was going on.

Mile 13 – Mile 17

Meanwhile Patti was extremely disappointed. She knew in her heart that her ideal marathon was over. I knew what she was feeling because I had the same experience in Arizona. I then shared with her that you can’t control what happens on marathon day. It’s a whole different animal. As Coach noted, you’ll feel pains that you never had before. We’re in a different area with different weather conditions. I tried to bring her back to reality and reminded her that the most important thing is to finish. She didn’t know if she could finish. She had put a lot of pressure on herself to do well. I then told her the story of how Brenda got me through my first marathon in Arizona. I explained how Brenda basically said I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I described the picture Brenda showed me and I reminded her how fortunate we are to be alive. We are healthy and we can run. I reminded her the strength of Cole and as long as we can move one leg in front of the other, we are doing well. We have that strength.

While I no longer had the energy to run the rest of the marathon, I could still do a mean power walk. Michelle and I were chatting away and Franny and Patti were hanging with each other in the back. We did not want to leave our mentees. Meanwhile Michelle was doing some math and said if we could maintain a 15 minute walk pace, we could finish around a 6:30 marathon. The only issue was trying to get them to keep up. As we walked a little faster, they would jog back up. So we had an inclination that did not want to separate from us as well. Ok, so we are all on the same page. I tried to convince everyone perhaps we could power walk to mile 20, and maybe we could jog the last 6.2 miles. It was quickly dismissed as the heat was just so overbearing and everyone was just so tired.

Mile 18 – Mile 22

By Mile 18, Michelle said…”hey, isn’t she on our team?” Then I yelled out “Connie!” and she saw me and came over. Then I heard some screams behind me at it was Monique and Nova. Connie was meeting them there to run them to the finish line. We then turned the corner and saw Mama Lisa. She saw us struggling and tried to jump start us by telling us to jog slowly. We did it for a good 5 minutes, but we were just too exhausted. My mind still thought I was capable of running this thing, but my body was telling me it was over. Michelle and Franny ask me to spray them with Kool ‘n’ Fit because they said they were going to try to run the rest of it. That was the last time I saw them on the course. We then saw Monique and Nova stretching. I asked them if they needed a spray. I sprayed them and Connie led them back on the run. That was the last time I saw them as well.

By Mile 19, I was no longer power walking. In fact I was walking extremely slowly. People were passing me left and right and Patti turned to me and asked if I was alright. I lied and said “yes”. In fact I wasn’t alright. My eyes were not focused and I was nauseated. My stomach wasn’t feeling right and I wanted to vomit. I just kept walking slowly and told her I could not walk any faster. I think she knew I wasn’t alright. I told her I needed to sit down on the curb. After a few minutes of rest, we walked again and I felt like passing out. I was walking with my eyes closed and Patti was talking to me. I was slowly tuning her out and I said in a nice way, that I did not want to talk. I just wanted to keep walking. If you had seen me a few miles earlier, I was still the rally monkey. This was now a 180 flip. The head had gotten to me. I felt sick and everything around me was not helping. The bands playing were annoying the hell out of me. The people cheering for me were annoying me. I could not walk fast enough to get away from them, but I couldn’t. Meanwhile I wanted to vomit and perhaps, I should have because I probably would have felt better. I could feel my upset stomach wanting to regurgitate the gu, cytomax and the nasty fire hydrant water in my belly.

During the next mile Patti, would ask me if I was feeling better and I said “no”. We stopped a few times while I sat on the curb. I wanted to vomit, my quads, calves were so tight and it felt like it had no fat in them. In addition, worse of all, my feet were still on fire. I seriously doubted if I could walk anymore. However, I had come that far and I knew I had to finish. I just put one foot in front of the other. Thankfully, we bumped into Coach Al and he could see us walking. Again, I lied. I told Coach I was fine in fear that I would be pulled off the course. I don’t know what compelled me to do that, but I honestly think because I wasn’t thinking straight, it made everything else worse. However seeing Coach gave me an extra boost to remind myself I needed to do the damn thing.

Mile 19.5, Patti met up with her dad, who was looking for her. Patti’s sister was ready to run her in the final 6.2 miles. While Patti was not going to vomit, like myself, she admitted she could not run anymore. When Patti reunited with her family at mile 20, I just sat on the curb, thinking this is pure hell. At this point, I was still debating if I was going to be able to finish. Patti’s sister decided she was just going to walk us in. Patti’s sister was so nice. She kept talking with Patti and tried talking to me, but unfortunately she met me at my worse possible state. I truly did not want to fake nice and basically told her "sorry" that I didn’t want to talk with her. I just wanted silence. By mile 21, I picked up the nasty fire hydrant water, drank some of it and threw it on my head. By this time the sun, was no longer hiding behind the clouds and it was easily in the mid 80s. Patti then came over and asked if I wanted to try running it with her and her sister. I could barely power walk, so I gave her my blessing to leave me and told her to go with her sister who was so much of a positive for at that point. I still felt like passing out.

So there I was all alone, barely going as fast as someone using a walker. I wanted to find a curb to sit on, but this trail had no curb. I finally saw a medical tent at mile 21.5 and sat on the cot and told them my feet were on fire. They took off my shoes and said the tape on my foot may have been too tight. The took it off and iced my foot. Meanwhile I saw Classie pass me up and she asked how I was doing and I lied and gave her the “so-so” wave. As soon as my foot cooled down, I felt a lot better and I was off. The icing felt good after a half mile, but it was on fire again soon after. I would want to sit again, but there was no place to sit. I could not even stand up in place. As soon as I stopped, I had to kneel over. By mile 22, I was walking pass a horrible U2 cover band and I could see Patti and her sister on the otherside of the hairpin turn and she asked how I was doing. I told her “a little better.” I then saw Classie again and she said I did not look good. I said, “I know”. I only did what I could do and put one foot in front of the other. I made the turn and felt the water mist provided by the people at the water stop. That felt good, but I needed to drink water. Again, it was nasty fire hydrant water, but I had to take it in. The nauseating disappeared and I didn’t feel like vomiting anymore, but my calves and legs were done. I was thinking the smart thing to do was just get shuttled back, but I thought to myself that I was only about 4 miles away. I had to walk the rest of it.

Mile 23 – 26.2

My calves were killing me, but I kept going until I heard someone shout “Phil”. It was Liz, who I just officially met early yesterday. She’s on our run team, but I never knew who she was. She said she was glad to see a familiar face. So was I. I told her my nasty state and she said we could finish it together. She was moving at a faster pace and I needed to sit down again. I told her to keep going as I went to the medical tent for a second time. I sat on an empty chair and I saw another TNT participant next to me getting a calf massage. I thought to myself, it may help. So I requested the same. I got my calves massaged and it felt a little better. I got back up and continued. I then passed by a water stop and they were handing out Dasani bottled water. Something other than fire hydrant water…shit! I’ll take that! I had a feeling I was close to the finish line and I quickly picked up the walking pace. By mile 24, finishers with medals were walking back. There was no turning back. I had to finish. I felt a lot better and I was power walking the last mile and was passing everyone. TNT coaches on the side were cheering me on and said I was at the homestretch. I entered in the military base and could see the mile 26 banner. At that point I was jogging in, made the turn and could see the finish line and sprinted. I looked up at the clock it was way over 7 hours. (Official Time: 7:17:33) The seats were half empty. I got my medal and recognized a familiar face. It was Amma. She said she had a tough time and I seconded her sentiments. I picked up my goodie bag and headed to the TNT for check out. To my surprise, Franny and Richard were waiting for me. Patti told Franny, before she left (because she was leaving right after the race) to look out for me because she was worried about me. Richard had waited 3-4 hours. I gave them both a huge hug.

Richard, Franny, and I

My Thoughts

This was one of the toughest races of my life and re-affirmed that I should never do marathons again. There were many moments were I thought I would vomit and pass out over the road. At the same time, this medal means more to me than the one I achieved in Arizona. I had it easy in Arizona. There I was able to run/walk after my body shut down, but at least I had my sanity. San Diego, I truly believed I could not finish for health reason. In San Diego, I was not “Philip”. I was mean and actually wanted to yell at the people who were cheering me on to just…”Shut the fuck up!” I wanted to rip the name off my chest just so that people would leave me alone. Although I never did any of the above, I was still not proud of myself for thinking it.

The race was not a PR, so I am disappointed. But I came back from the lowest of lows and I finished the damn thing! I have so many excuses for my piss-poor performance: terrible fire hydrant water, super-hard pavement roads, the heat, POP, and many others factors to blame, but ultimately it was my race and didn’t perform to my expectations. A lot of runners felt nauseated like me and we all have analyzed what may have caused it. It’s pretty ironic that a perfect training season ended up being my worse marathon race. I even got a nasty wife-beater sun burn outline out of it.

Perhaps this was not the season to be for “Phil” the runner, but “Phil” the mentor. Just seeing the first time marathoners accomplish what they set out to do at the info meeting brings a smile to my face. One such person I saw at my info meeting was Raj. He’s one of our most consistent runners; however, that has never discouraged him in accomplishing what he set out to do. He was a recipient of a spirit cap because of his no quit attitude. I finally saw him this morning at breakfast and congratulated him on finishing. I asked how it went and he said in his accent “very well.” I asked if that was everything he had thought it would be and he said, “better.” If you could only hear the way he said it, he was so proud and so thrilled to be a marathon finisher. His goal was never to worry about the clock, but to just do the damn thing! To feel his happiness has made this season complete. We are marathoners!

Me and Raj